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Have Ozz Will Travel is the second episode of the fourth and final series of The Osbournes. It originally aired on January 24, 2005.

Summery Edit

The family tries to decide where to go on vacation. Sharon turns down Fiji because none of the hotels meet her standards, while Ozzy nixes a number of other locations for various reasons. Sharon ultimately decides on Hawaii, although Ozzy is still reluctant to go. Meanwhile, Kelly wins a major role in a television pilot. She must miss out on the family's vacation to go to Vancouver for filming.

Gallery Edit

Have Ozz Will Travel/ Gallery

Memorable Quotes Edit

"How did they know if the Moon was soft?"
— Ozzy Osbourne
"Yes! Let's go on holiday quicker!"
— Sharon Osbourne
"We're not going to Hawaii, we go every fucking year!"
Jack Osbourne
"I'm not going to Canada, it's fucking cold!"
— Kelly Osbourne
"Fiji's paradise!"
— Ozzy Osbourne
"Tahiti is the worst shithole I've ever been in my life. It's a polluted Hawaii."
— Ozzy Osbourne
"Not Queen Mary, on a fucking airplane!"
— Ozzy Osbourne
"There's a war in Bali, we don't wanna go to Bali."
— Sharon Osbourne
"First of all we need a five star hotel and they're all four star."
— Sharon Osbourne
"Why don't we just go to Malibu?"
— Ozzy Osbourne
"You can get married! Is he Jewish?"
— Sharon Osbourne
"FRENCH?! If it's run by the French I ain't going!"
— Ozzy Osbourne
"I ain't going."
— Ozzy Osbourne
"You fucking are, mister!"
— Sharon Osbourne
"I'm sick and tired of hearing about the holiday."
— Ozzy Osbourne
"You know what I think the bible is? A book of morals. I don't think any of it happened, it was a book, it was a book of fairytales that teach people good morals."
— Kelly Osbourne
"Have fun in Hawaii you assholes."
— Kelly Osbourne
"Come back a star Kelly, I smell Emmy!"
— Sharon Osbourne
"I smell diarrhea!"
— Kelly Osbourne

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